Dis. Meaning ‘apart’, ‘away from’. Away from comfort.
The last two years have been one big heap of discomfort. I stepped away from my 15-year professional life, into the unknown – asking only one question: What is the Highest vision for my life? And then following the yellow brick road.
Almost everything I’ve done since then has taken me into discomfort. Speaking my truth – and fearful of what people would think. Writing my thoughts and worried that I was rambling. Choosing risk and uncertainty for myself and my family. Ignoring common-sense. Facing my wounds. Learning new things. Pushing past my own boundaries. Changing the way I relate in those ‘ships. Being seen. Seeing myself. Going down this ‘woo-woo’ path and wondering if I’ve started my own cult of one. Daring to dream. Big. Doing my best to trust that the universe will support me when I am being true. Choosing again and again this way, when my mind is screaming ‘Go back. Go back. Go back to safety’.
All this discomfort I have felt. I have felt and felt and felt and felt. I have cried and laughed, and fought and slept. I have swum, and floated and drowned and surfed. I have flown. I have died.
And where is this going? This journey into unknown? I can’t tell you. I don’t know. But. Through all this dis-comfort, I have had moments of unadulterated joy. Of connection so perfect I can become one with another. Of deep talk for hours and hours. Of healing: for myself and everyone around me. Of damn good food. Made at home. Of blissful release. Of magical flow. Of accessing gifts I never knew I had. Of fun. Of freedom. Of yoga-ing at 12pm and feeling like that’s normal. Of barefoot meetings with whiteboards in the forest. Of finding my wisdom, and KNOWING, just KNOWING. Of going to class to learn astral travel. Of never wearing uncomfortable clothes again. Of remembering myself. Of travelling to a mountain alone. Of playing with my friends. Of praying with my friends. Of real-eyezing my power.
They said comfort is progress. Comfort is wealth. Comfort is the goal.
It is a golden cage.
I am not at all comfortable in this dis-comfort zone. But I am free. And I am home.